The Rocks from Mars

The Mars rover had collected some Martian rocks and brought them back to Earth. Five rocks, all five of them 100% from Mars. But the thing was they weren’t very interesting-looking.

Huh, said the NASA chief as she gazed upon the five rocks in the underground NASA lab.

What? said the mission geologist. What is it?

It’s nothing.

Please, tell me, said the mission geologist, though she knew what the NASA chief would say.

It’s just…they aren’t very interesting-looking, the NASA chief said.

The mission geologist had been thinking the same thing but had been hoping the NASA chief wouldn’t notice how plain the rocks were. But now the rocks were out of the bag, so to speak.

Yeah, I know, said the mission geologist.

They’re just kind of…, began the NASA chief.

Plain-looking? said the mission geologist.

Yes! said the NASA chief. That’s it exactly. Plain-looking.

They are from Mars, though, said the mission geologist. They are Martian rocks.

But I thought we were bringing back interesting Martian rocks, said the NASA chief. I thought that was the whole point of the mission. Bring back interesting Martian rocks so the public could gaze upon them and go, Damn. These look like they could have come from a Kroger parking lot.

The mission geologist tried to think of something witty to say in response, but nothing came to mind. The rocks were plain-looking, but what could they do? These were the rocks they had. These were the rocks they’d brought back. It wasn’t like they could just swing back by Mars and pick out some different ones. That would take like eight years and upwards of a trillion dollars.

Well, I guess these are the rocks we have, said the NASA chief. These are the rocks we brought back. It’s not like we can just swing by Mars and pick out some different ones.

The mission geologist looked at the NASA chief with mouth agape.

I just thought the same thing, said the mission geologist.

I’m glad we’re on the same page, said the NASA chief.

No, no, I mean I literally just had the exact same thought. Like, word for word.

I’m going to suggest something right now, and I don’t want it to leave this room, said the NASA chief.

The mission geologist nodded, but she couldn’t get past the fact that they’d both just had the same thought. The exact same. Similar thoughts, sure, but word for word? That was inexplicable.

The NASA chief brought over some putty and paints.

Let’s gussy these fuckers up, she said.