We met at the docks, mainly because I had never in my life said, “Let’s meet at the docks,” and for some reason I’d really wanted to say it. So I did. I went for it. I said it. And we met at the docks. Saying it hadn’t had the transmogrifying effect I thought it might. I’d entertained the possibility—spoiler alert, I am an idiot—that saying those words would change me somehow, would render me more…something. More confident? More commanding? “Let’s meet at the docks.” It soun

The hospice nurse examined the printout. It says you could have been a very mediocre trumpet player, she said. How mediocre? asked Betty. It just says very , said the nurse. See? The nurse showed Betty the paper. Sure enough, that’s all it said. Wow, said Betty. You sound unimpressed, said the nurse. I thought it would say more, said Betty. I thought there’d be more to it. It’s direct, said the nurse. It gets right to the point. The nitty-gritty of it. I can see that, said Be

Sam looked at the app store and felt sick. There were so many apps. Every app had already been made. There were no more apps to make. Some of Sam’s friends had gotten rich off the apps they’d made, and millions of other people rushed in to make their own apps. The app space had become fully saturated. Now there were apps that made other apps. There were even apps that made apps that made other apps, as stupid as that sounds. And much of it was  very stupid. Now AI was making

This is what it felt like to walk among the trees, a light breeze blowing through your hair, they said. They gathered around Sam, whose suit was ill-fitting but presentable. Some of them stood stock-still, arms out at a variety of jaunty angles, their many fingers splayed. They were the trees. They were weeping and they were tall and mighty and they were the trees. Were they arboreal? Yes. Others moved close to Sam, very close. They positioned themselves so that they were nea

Paul had an idea for a new art installation called “Man Perpetually Falling Down Stairs.” He’d come up with the concept last Tuesday when...

Three little pigs lived by the sea. You know how this goes. The first little pig built its house of lumber. The second little pig built...

Whenever the bluebird of befuddlement lit upon our little backyard feeder, we found ourselves without much in the way of coherent speech....

He sometimes confused torsion  and tension . Climatic  and climactic . Centripetal  and centrifugal . Corporal  and corporeal . Viscous...

I can’t say I truly believed that Brian’s dead father was speaking to him through the napkin dispenser at Cattle Mutilations. But Brian...

We’ve lost the plot. It happens. Plots get lost all the time; it’s not that unusual. But no one around here seems to have any idea how it...

In the hills, in the high and distant hills, they’d hit a big pothole and blown out a tire. No spare. Now what? he said. They sat for a...

The music was sad, so obviously we were supposed to make this whole scene sad. But the problem? We didn’t feel sad. Like, at all. Quite...

A solar flare  today, said the newscaster, who then said nothing else. The newscaster stared blankly into the camera. The staring went on...

Cheryl and I did this thing where she’d hand me a beverage that she’d prepared, I’d take a big drink, and then, a few seconds later,...

Everything has a cost  was his line. His one  line. Was it a great line? No. It was an OK line, perfectly respectable, nothing special....

The Mars rover had collected some Martian rocks and brought them back to Earth. Five rocks, all five of them 100% from Mars. But the...

Of course, my daughter had questions about the giant extraterrestrial spaceship hovering over our city. Her questions ranged from the...

Marvin’s parents were beside themselves. He wants to be an artist, Marvin’s father said to the administrator of their account with Your...

The mountains. The mountains were big. The mountains had snow on them. The mountains were nice to look at. The mountains filled me with...

Steve would compare just about everything to a Godzilla. That violent thunderstorm last night was a Godzilla. Traffic this morning was a...